So, it’s no secret that I dropped my entire life and moved to Dallas four months ago. I left my friends, my family, my job, my hometown, and most importantly, my comfort zone. Don’t get me wrong – I wanted this for myself and am super happy with the decision I made. But it’s still interesting how transitions….even good ones…can disrupt our inner selves.
Lately I’ve been struggling with being “tired.” Which is mainly why I haven’t posted anything in nearly two weeks. I’m not sleepy-tired, but emotionally drained. I”m skipping Pure Barre workouts, I’m lacking on my housework, I’m uninterested in coming up with meal ideas….and I’m cutting out portions of my morning routine to get another 15 minutes of sleep. One of the worst things that happens to me when I get tired is that I start getting really down on myself. I feel bad that I’m not interested in doing these things, I put myself down and compare myself to others….never measuring up.
After a particularly low morning, I had a lunchtime conversation with a dear friend. I was whining about all my problems and how much I sucked…and she asked me a simple question: “What do you love about yourself?” I laughed and proclaimed, “This is stupid!” but she proceeded to share with me what she loved about herself. It was very humbling, and it opened my eyes to another important question.
Why am I so hard on myself? As modern women, we are raised with this ideal of Superwoman: to be and do it all. We must be a loving wife, a gracious mother, and have a kick ass career being loved and respected by our colleagues. We must be good cooks, better housekeepers, and be involved in our communities. And while we’re doing all these things, we must wear the right clothes, drive the right car, and have perfect the body. I often pressure myself to “do and be it all.” but while I’m killing myself to acheive Superwoman status, I forget about me.
What I do realize is this: I must be gentle with myself. I must always remember what I love about myself; forgive myself for mistakes and find my inner strength in all circumstances. Even today, I looked to a friend to support me and make me feel better about myself, forgetting that my biggest supporter is staring back at me in the mirror.
So, dear friend, here are some thing that I love about myself…
1. I am an excellent cook
2. I am a good gift giver.
3. I am funny.
4. I can sing.
5. I have good rythm.
6. I am creative and resourceful.
7. I have pretty eyes.
So, I may not have it all….and I probably won’t ever be it all either. But, I am me. And God only made one Claudia. So, that’s pretty darn special….and in my opinion, way better than being Superwoman anways.
And just so you know, Superwoman doesn’t exist, and she never will.
Dixie Girl in Dallas 